happy december

it is finally december and it feels like november flew by like nothing.

as of this entry, i changed my design. it's a pretty light blue with snowflakes. the green and red were a little too strong. i think it's good for winter and not just christmas.

anyways. finals are in two weeks, i have a project presentation tomorrow, and i feel like i have a bunch of other things to do. again, i build it up in my head and make it seem like it's more than it really is. i have to get letters of recommendation from my two japanese teachers, get on the application for japan, and just try and survive the next two weeks.

i registered for classes today and i think this was the first time since i've started at csulb that i've had a smooth registration. usually i'm constantly worrying about whether or not i'll make the class if i'm on waitlist or i'm just trying to decide which classes to take. really, i only get to choose two since the other two are defaulted with japanese.
...which i'm really, REALLY, not looking forward to. i don't know if it's all the stress of this semester building up, but times like this, i wish i didn't have to take those classes. i wonder why my major is still japanese if i don't enjoy it in the classroom. i know life isn't supposed to be easy, i get that and i hear it all the time. but can't life be fun? not fun and games, just fun. can't i enjoy what i'm doing? can't i do things i enjoy?

i don't know if going to japan is for me. i can't imagine myself over there by myself for a whole year. i can't even afford it. $26,000. i wonder how long i'd have to work to earn that much money, because that is A LOT of money. and since i'm feeling like this, it seems like too much work.

i'm just going to stop.